Regreso

Everything turned to orange, brown and black. And I see monsters knocking in our door. It was so much like what my tíos y tías when they dress up and walk the streets. I couldn't understand what was really going on though. And whenever my mamá opened the door, she wasn't even scared at them. Instead, she would get a bucket of lollies, the exact ones she always placed in the piñata. I could hear the frightening woo outside. I was running to my papá whenever I hear them screaming the words I couldn't even understand. I would hide behind the boxes that he was unpacking. The screams sounded like weird diabolic chants. I was very frightened. I didn't know what was going on, and why we now live in a house that is very unfamiliar to me. Everything was dark, cold and scary. Mucho miedo, terrible.

We went to this place with many salón. We stopped by a cuarto filled with children who doesn't look like me, as this very tall woman walked towards us. They started speaking words I couldn't comprehend. I didn't know what was going on. The kids inside the cuarto started laughing at me, and they were saying familiar words that wasn't pronounced right. I had no idea what was actually going on. Mamá said that I will be learning with the lady, and she said, it is the maestra, and I should be good. I felt like crying the moment my mamá walked out the door, but the maestra just touched my back and showed me a silla, next to this kid with very small eyes. He smiled at me, but I still felt I wanted to run away. I was very terrified. I didn't even understand why my mamá would leave me with these total strangers whom I don't even understand what they are saying. She never left me, and most especially, I never left the house. Mi casa, mi hogar.

After this noise came up, everyone started moving. I got more scared. I didn't know what to do. The maestra said something to the boy with small eyes, he nodded and he started picking up my things and placed them in my bag. I grabbed my bag right furiously, thinking he was going to steal my bag. The maestra approached us, kneeled and told me, "Está bien". I told her that I wanted to go home and be with my mamá, but she looked at me with her head tilted and she just smiled like she doesn't understand what I said, so I told her again. She stood up, and I had to look up to her, and she smiled to me, and she said, "No hablo español, muchacho". It totally didn't make any sense, I was deeply puzzled. The boy with small eyes rumbled things, I looked at him with disgust. I was determined to leave. I had to leave. I had to go back. Volver a casa, go back home.

I sat down on my silla. No one was around. I just hear much laughter and jumping. I was waiting for my mamá to get me out from this cárcel. I stayed strong, on times I wanted to burst to tears. I was alone while every exótico chico y chicas were outside. I looked around the cuarto, it was dark. I felt so alone, everything was very strange. A grupo de chicos blancos went in. The biggest chico threw a ball at me, but he missed. He was murmuring many words, but I just stared at him. He walked towards me and pushed me. I fell, with the silla. I stood up, and they all walked towards me. I wasn't scared; I just didn't understand what was happening. The noise came up again, and everyone rushed back in. The big chico, said something while pointing at me. The maestra went back in.

"Yo quiero ir a casa ahora", I told her with the highest hint of despair. She turned around, looked back down to me and said with a smile, "Bienvenidos a California!". I don't get her, whatever she says does not make sense anymore. I can't wait until this día del infierno will end. They started drawing, so the boy with small eyes said something and offered this box of coloured sticks. I took it, and started using it. I drew our casa en las montañas, but as I was just about to color the skies the azul lápiz de color broke, and the boy with small eyes grabbed it from my hands. The boy with small eyes got angry, his face looked like an angry bull, and his eyes grew even smaller and he screamed words loudly. As he was about to slap me, I grabbed his hand. He cried loudly, it sounded like a howl of a lobo. The maestra walked towards us, and said things again, then she grabbed my shoulder and shoved me out of the cuarto. I was happy, actually. She kicked me out, but I was glad. I was finally out of infierno, away from all those extranjeros.

I actually don’t understand what I did wrong, but what matters most was I was out. I ran out of the cuarto. I saw this big puerta at the end of the pasillo. I know that Mamá will be always on the other side of that puerta, just like at our casa, in the cocina, making fajitas. I hurriedly ran to the puerta, and halfway through, I heard the maestra shouting really loud. “Selestino!”, with words that were piercing as a caballos running through the pueblo. Now I don’t know if she was calling my name or she was telling me that I belonged to heaven. I ran as fast I could, it was a race to the border. Going back to where I come from. I might not be able to go back, but I know I will be with my familia on the other side. Happier than what I am here. As I opened the puerta, I stopped as I saw coches more than what they had in the ciudad. They looked shiny and new, as I turned around; the maestra was still after me. Mamá or papá wasn’t there. So I ran through the coches, but they didn’t stop. They were too big to see me. And there was a big sound of bocina, loud enough to deafen me. It was dark after that. Even darker than what it was in that cuarto con demonios.

I woke up in a brightly lit room. It definitely wasn’t my cuarto in our casa. A woman walked in, it still wasn’t mama. She told me words, which sounded like the words I heard in the cuarto con demonios. But surprisingly, I understood her. I spoke back to her, in the language of the demonios. I looked at my brazo; it was an adult man’s. Did I die and now my soul is in the wrong body? Not long, and another woman walked in, “Oh, Tino. You’re awake!” I didn’t recognize her. I said, “Who are you?” I was surprised again. I actually spoke the devil’s tongue, in a different voice. Was I asleep for too long? How did I learn this language? Who is this woman? What happened to me? There were too many questions running in my head.

I found out that I am actually now an American Border Security Patrol. I was caught in a gunning incident from a Mexican who tried to cross the border. Ironically, I grew up becoming part of the place which I called strange, which is now I call home. I wanted to go back to the place I called home and ending up stopping my fellow Mexicans enter the place I considered hell.